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7 Hilarious Dawn Wall Quotes by the Mainstream Media

By Jake · · Updated

The Dawn Wall is a 3,000ft rock face on El Capitan in Yosemite National Park in California. It’s the mecca of rock climbing, and Dawn Wall mania has swept the globe. The climb made it into the mainstream press, and the whole world watched as Kevin Jorgeson and Tommy Caldwell battled up what would become the world’s hardest big wall free climb. They topped out on January 14, 2015, after 19 days on the wall, according to Climbing magazine. It’s not often that non-climbers take interest in our climbing world, but here we are.

The documentary about the climb, “The Dawn Wall,” had its North American premiere at SXSW in 2018. Before that, much of the coverage came from media companies that distorted the details. It’s like a game of telephone, where a climber explains the significance of this event to a non-climber who then reports it as slightly distorted facts – before you know it we’re left with clickbait articles that greatly undermine the importance.

Here we’ve assembled our favorite quotes we’ve seen recently, all for your viewing pleasure.

  • “Free climbing means no help, and no feet on the ground.” – Independent UK. This is nonsensical. Free climbing means climbing with your hands and feet on the rock’s natural features, using ropes and gear only to catch a fall. It has nothing to do with keeping your feet off the ground.

  • “Apart from the ropes that they bolt to the rock as they go, and their smartphones, they are alone.” –Independent UK. Obviously climbers bolt their ropes straight into the rock (no they don’t, please don’t do that). Ropes clip into protection, and the film crew hanging nearby apparently didn’t count as company either.

  • “Kevin Jorgeson and Tommy Caldwell on Wednesday completed what’s considered to be the hardest route up Yosemite’s El Capitan using only their hands and feet.” –Buzzfeed. Just their hands and feet? That’s ama-za-zing!

  • Kevin Jorgeson and Tommy Caldwell on Wednesday became the first free climbers to scale the treacherous Dawn Wall of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park, completing what’s considered to be the hardest rock climb in the world without the aid of ropes or harnesses.” –Buzzfeed. Without ropes or harnesses? Caldwell and Jorgeson used both to catch their many falls. That is exactly what free climbing allows.

  • “In 2012, Alex Honnold, another American, scaled The Nose, the most established and much grippier way up El Cap, in two and a half hours.” –Independent UK. Didn’t you know that The Nose is way grippier than the Dawn Wall? That’s a fact.

  • “Two thrill-seekers in Yosemite National Park are trying to tackle one of the toughest climbs in the world.” –CBS News. Calling two of the world’s most methodical big wall climbers “thrill seekers” misses the years of planning behind the climb. The same CBS report does get the 3,000-foot height right.

  • “They were scaling the Dawn Wall, as smooth as alabaster, as steep as the bedroom wall, more than half a mile tall, without the benefit of ropes, other than to catch their falls.” –New York Times. This is less about offending climbers and more about offending writers. This sentence is essentially saying the rock is as smooth as rock and the wall is as steep as a wall. Worst analogy ever.

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